Philosophy and Gold

If Floon had to say one nice thing about this tenday, it's that no one had tried to kidnap him. Oh, that rascal Kalos who'd hosted the Strings and Songs concert had tried to hire him full time, which was a kind of kidnapping, sort of. Floon knew better than to get tied down to any one place or person. Something better always came along, and if you were locked in or locked down, you were going to be locked out. Floon contemplated that thought, the versatility of the word "locked", and how well the whole idea had flowed. He opened a notebook, titled "The Philosophy of Wisdom", and wrote this thought down. Later, he would expand and expound on this. He'd already filled dozens of pages in the notebook with important insights like "History happens to other people" and "If all else fails, Laugh". When he'd filled the notebook, he'd give to to Volo to publish.

That was enough work for the night, he thought. You didn't want to overdo it and burn out his brain when he was only halfway through the pages of the notebook. Best to take it easy. He decided he'd head to the Yawning Portal. Someone there would buy him a drink. Someone always did. Sometimes they bought him many drinks, he liked that the most. He was, after all, astounding company.

He grabbed his red scarf and tasteful grey jacket. He paused to look at a few conspicuous gaps in his wardrobe. He hoped his friends were ok. They were nice, and saved his life, and friends with Volo. All good things to Floon. He would check the broadsheets over the following days and make sure there had been no scandals at the opera. He ran a comb through his hair, considered tidying his desk before deciding he didn't want to, and left.

Open on his desk is a book labelled "Floon's Guide To The Nice People of Waterdeep", a particularly disorganised book where Floon keeps broadsheet clippings on the city's nobility. When you knew someone's name and position before they introduced themselves, they tend to like you more. Floon liked to be liked, so he'd made this book to facilitate smooth greetings.

If a breeze had fluttered the pages, here's what we may have seen:

From the Waterdeep Warhorn, dated some 2 years ago:

''Mirt the Merciless is at the centre of every scandal, yet somehow comes away with clean hands. Who lent the money to the Sallisten family to get them out of debt? Why, it was "old Mirt", according to him! But why? What did he stand to gain? Why would he antagonise so many people with this move, then admit it freely?!''

''Mirt was one of the Iron Wolves, one of the best adventuring groups the Sword Coast has ever seen. Why then, do the other Wolves shun him, or even speak his name?'' (ed: Several Wolves living in Silverymoon were asked for comment, none replied).

''Surely, this is a man of mystery and ill intentions to the city. Yet several claim he is one of the Masked Lords! Preposterous, but perhaps, so preposterous to make it true? We may never know, but two things are certain: First, he is one of the most wealthy men in Waterdeep, no matter how much he gives away or splashes on fancy events. Two: He absolutely was seen kissing both Lady Hallison and Lord Gallispe at the same party! Scandelous!''

From the True Waterdavian, dated 3 months ago

"...Of course, trade in fine spices, luxurious textiles and fine ceramics can be done in every ward in the city. But how are these fine products selected? Who strikes deals of trade? And who sets the fashion and makes the tastes?

''A newcomer to the city is Lady Kallista, a representative of the Alistair Trading Family. Recently the Alistairs have brokered what's rumoured to be a truly extravagant deal with the Order of Master Tailors, Glovers, and Mercers, to the value of many thousands of dragons. Fancy fabrics from all over Faerun will not be making their way to our fair city, thanks to this agreement. Lady Kallista is at its head, and is said to be both the most gracious of hosts, and a cunning businesswoman.''

''We here at the True Waterdavian look forward to seeing the explosion of color and taste that this will bring to our parties and salons. Lady Kallista has indicated to us that she is looking to doing more business in Waterdeep, and expects to settle down in the city as a long-term ambassador for the finest cloth and fabric trade Waterdeep has seen.''

''Speaking with her on a personal note, she expressed a love for the auditory arts - singing, concerts, and soloists, she simply cannot get enough of the beautiful music of Waterdeep. She owns a Coronite Grand Piano, although she makes no claims as to her own skill. She greatly admires the glorious gryphon cavalry, and has expressed a desire to one day see Waterdeep from the sky. We wish her all the best.''

While celebrity gossip is all good and well, we should cast our eyes to Floon's as-yet unsorted broadsheets from the day. Most importantly is this issue of "Citizens Know The Truth!”, where honest, ordinary people were asked pressing questions of the day. Today’s inquiry was “Why are there no real dragons in the city?” Answers included:

"Dragons obey and respect the law, and the law says no flying higher than rooftops. No dragon would truly be able to surpress thier animalistic need to fly, so out of respect for the law they stay away"

"Magic"

"Have you seen the state of the city? The gang war, Neverember's crimes...no dragon would want to witness this"

"The dragons are here! They can assume human form, and walk among us. It's only polite"